BREAKING: Pete Rose to be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame
In a surprise announcement this morning, baseball commissioner Rob Manfred announced that he has reviewed the case of Pete Rose and decided to reinstate Cincinnati’s favorite son. “Yes, Mr. Rose did bet on baseball games, and he has spent thirty years regretting it. I met with him, discussed how we can move forward. I also met with the board of the National Baseball Hall of Fame, and they were in complete agreement that Rose should be immortalized in the museum. They will forego the customary voting process and induct Mr. Rose this summer with Vladimir Guerrero, Jim Thome, Chipper Jones, Trevor Hoffman, Alan Trammell, and Jack Morris.”
Jeff Idelson, President of the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum, added to Manfred’s statement, “After further review, we have determined the actions of former commissioner Bud Selig damaged our national pastime to a greater extent than Pete Rose. The only way to make it up to the all-time hits leader is to permanently ban Mr. Selig from the Hall of Fame. His photograph will be posted at the ticket booth and he will be denied entry to our grand museum.” In an effort to save money, the Hall of Fame said that they would be removing the plaque of Bud Selig, melting it down and recycling it to make Rose’s 2018 plaque.
And if you haven’t figured it out already, April Fool’s!