Wax Eye “Cereal Killers” trading cards

I remember the glory days of the 1980s, ripping open packs of Garbage Pail Kids (much to my mother’s dismay). My friends and I laughed at the low-brow humor found on both the front and back of the cards, as any self-respecting fourth grader would. I know that Garbage Pail Kids are still around, but they don’t hold the same place in my heart today.

Fortunately, I have found a great set to take its place: Cereal Killers by Wax Eye. Combining the parody aspect of Wacky Packages with the gross-out factor of GPK, Cereal Killers is perfect for fans of horror movies or parody trading cards in general. Each card is a mash-up of a horror icon with a breakfast cereal.

For instance, put Michael Myers on a Wheaties box, and you get Halloweeties: The Breakfast of Maniacs. The artist, Joe Simko, does a great job of capturing the essence of horror and incorporating that into the descriptors found on the cereal boxes. Look again at the Halloweeties box above: it’s “Made with 100% WHOLE PAIN” and includes “Marshmallow Pumpkins with Massacred Skin Flakes.”

On the reverse, the cards feature either puzzle pieces or a comic. Three different puzzles can be formed, creating super-sized versions of card #1 (Zomb’a Crunch), #2 (Frosted Freeks), or #25 (Honey-Chrome). Out of the three boxes I opened, I was able to complete only puzzle #1.

Speaking of the boxes, how fantastic is the packaging? Each package contains three mini cereal boxes, and each box contains twenty cards, an eyeball gumball, and a special premium: either a blacklight sticker, temporary tattoo, fridge magnet, gold foil card or an original, hand-drawn sketch card.

Pack 1	Pack 2	Pack 3
42 Omen O’s	44 Tix (double)	41 Honey Cut Deleerios
36 The Silence of the Grahams	33 Ghoulden Grahams (double)	15 Hex
26 Bloody Bunches of Throats	30 Good Fiends	38 Hick’s Mix
7 Children of the Corn Flakes	4 Chucky Harms	6 Halloweeties (double)
50 Grosslix	55 Reaper’s Puffs	39 Ape-Guts (double)
43 Corn Pufftasm	45 Bloody Smacks (double)	42 Omen O’s (double)
31 Homicidal Killer	34 The Phantom of the Oatmeal	36 The Silence of the Grahams (double)
27 The Ring O’s	16 Gloomy Pebbles	26 Bloody Bunches of Throats (double)
8 Frankly Burried	5 Zomb’a Crunch’s Crunch Brains	7 Children of the Corn Flakes (double)
48 Zomb’a Crunch’s Peanut Blooder Crunch	54 Zomb’a Crunch’s Black Christmas Crunch	50 Grosslix (double)
44 Tix	21 Angry Jacks	43 Corn Pufftasm (double)
32 Tales from the Crisp	35 Alien-Bits	31 Homicidal Killer (double)
28 Death	17 Chainsaw Toast Crunch	27 The Ring O’s (double)
9 Fright Loops	37 Eye Pops	8 Frankly Burried (double)
49 Village of the Grahamed	47 Razor Cut Brain	48 Zomb’a Crunch’s Peanut Blooder Crunch (double)
45 Bloody Smacks	22 Natural Grudgenola	44 Tix (triple)
33 Ghoulden Grahams	11 Exorcrisp	32 Tales from the Crisp (double)
29 Creepix	18 Golden Curse	28 Death (double)
10 Clockwork Porridge	6 Halloweeties	9 Fright Loops (double)
53 A Bitemore on Oat Street	39 Ape-Guts	49 Village of the Grahamed (double)

It is difficult to pick my favorites, because each one brings a smile to my face. But if you held a machete to my throat, here are the three best that came out of these boxes:

The only complaint I have is the collation of the packs. Each pack contains 20 cards, but as you can see in the chart above, I only got three new cards in the third pack and ended up with 20 duplicates out of 60 cards. I hope Wax Eye is able to improve this ratio in series 2 (and I truly hope there is a series 2). I realize a complete set is not guaranteed in the package, and Wax Eye does provide links to facilitate trading on their website, but twenty duplicates out of sixty total cards still seems a bit much.

Other than that, Cereal Killers are fun cards, and I highly recommend them to my horror-loving, card-collecting comrades out there.

Learn more about Cereal Killers trading cards and the Wax Eye company, and purchase a box or two, at wax-eye.com!

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