Wax Eye “Cereal Killers” trading cards
I remember the glory days of the 1980s, ripping open packs of Garbage Pail Kids (much to my mother’s dismay). My friends and I laughed at the low-brow humor found on both the front and back of the cards, as any self-respecting fourth grader would. I know that Garbage Pail Kids are still around, but they don’t hold the same place in my heart today.
Fortunately, I have found a great set to take its place: Cereal Killers by Wax Eye. Combining the parody aspect of Wacky Packages with the gross-out factor of GPK, Cereal Killers is perfect for fans of horror movies or parody trading cards in general. Each card is a mash-up of a horror icon with a breakfast cereal.
For instance, put Michael Myers on a Wheaties box, and you get Halloweeties: The Breakfast of Maniacs. The artist, Joe Simko, does a great job of capturing the essence of horror and incorporating that into the descriptors found on the cereal boxes. Look again at the Halloweeties box above: it’s “Made with 100% WHOLE PAIN” and includes “Marshmallow Pumpkins with Massacred Skin Flakes.”
On the reverse, the cards feature either puzzle pieces or a comic. Three different puzzles can be formed, creating super-sized versions of card #1 (Zomb’a Crunch), #2 (Frosted Freeks), or #25 (Honey-Chrome). Out of the three boxes I opened, I was able to complete only puzzle #1.
Speaking of the boxes, how fantastic is the packaging? Each package contains three mini cereal boxes, and each box contains twenty cards, an eyeball gumball, and a special premium: either a blacklight sticker, temporary tattoo, fridge magnet, gold foil card or an original, hand-drawn sketch card.
|Pack 1||Pack 2||Pack 3|
|42 Omen O’s||44 Tix (double)||41 Honey Cut Deleerios|
|36 The Silence of the Grahams||33 Ghoulden Grahams (double)||15 Hex|
|26 Bloody Bunches of Throats||30 Good Fiends||38 Hick’s Mix|
|7 Children of the Corn Flakes||4 Chucky Harms||6 Halloweeties (double)|
|50 Grosslix||55 Reaper’s Puffs||39 Ape-Guts (double)|
|43 Corn Pufftasm||45 Bloody Smacks (double)||42 Omen O’s (double)|
|31 Homicidal Killer||34 The Phantom of the Oatmeal||36 The Silence of the Grahams (double)|
|27 The Ring O’s||16 Gloomy Pebbles||26 Bloody Bunches of Throats (double)|
|8 Frankly Burried||5 Zomb’a Crunch’s Crunch Brains||7 Children of the Corn Flakes (double)|
|48 Zomb’a Crunch’s Peanut Blooder Crunch||54 Zomb’a Crunch’s Black Christmas Crunch||50 Grosslix (double)|
|44 Tix||21 Angry Jacks||43 Corn Pufftasm (double)|
|32 Tales from the Crisp||35 Alien-Bits||31 Homicidal Killer (double)|
|28 Death||17 Chainsaw Toast Crunch||27 The Ring O’s (double)|
|9 Fright Loops||37 Eye Pops||8 Frankly Burried (double)|
|49 Village of the Grahamed||47 Razor Cut Brain||48 Zomb’a Crunch’s Peanut Blooder Crunch (double)|
|45 Bloody Smacks||22 Natural Grudgenola||44 Tix (triple)|
|33 Ghoulden Grahams||11 Exorcrisp||32 Tales from the Crisp (double)|
|29 Creepix||18 Golden Curse||28 Death (double)|
|10 Clockwork Porridge||6 Halloweeties||9 Fright Loops (double)|
|53 A Bitemore on Oat Street||39 Ape-Guts||49 Village of the Grahamed (double)|
It is difficult to pick my favorites, because each one brings a smile to my face. But if you held a machete to my throat, here are the three best that came out of these boxes:
The only complaint I have is the collation of the packs. Each pack contains 20 cards, but as you can see in the chart above, I only got three new cards in the third pack and ended up with 20 duplicates out of 60 cards. I hope Wax Eye is able to improve this ratio in series 2 (and I truly hope there is a series 2). I realize a complete set is not guaranteed in the package, and Wax Eye does provide links to facilitate trading on their website, but twenty duplicates out of sixty total cards still seems a bit much.
Other than that, Cereal Killers are fun cards, and I highly recommend them to my horror-loving, card-collecting comrades out there.