Now he’s after my Cubbies!

On the heels of denying Ken Griffey, Jr., his rightful place in the 2008 All-Star Game, and his nefarious plan to render Clint Hurdle incapable of managing the contest (replacing him with his own Brewers manager Ned Yost), Bud Selig is now turning to even worse activities by attacking Hall of Famers!

Selig has had a strange power that he has largely kept hidden from the public for quite some time. It turns out that this evil man conjures his Medusa-like power from a great classic rock song…

You know that he is about to unleash this terrible fate on someone when he looks like this…

Of course, this is very difficult to determine as he looks like that most of the time. Since this is the case, everyone is advised to steer clear of “Mr.” Selig at all times, just in case he wants to freeze you in some embarrassing pose for all eternity.

I am surprised that he has yet to afflict any Cincinnati Reds with his power, but he has used it against one of the greatest that ever put on the red, white and blue in Chicago…”Mr. Cub” himself, Ernie Banks, was recently discovered outside Wrigley Field turned to stone. When the discovery was made, ELO could be heard blaring from a nearby Pinto on “The Loop” 97.9 FM.

Photographic evidence:

Notice at the bottom of the photo, Selig is fleeing the scene of the crime. I must admit, it is deviously genious to pull off stunts like this rather than take the route other commissioners have done in the past, such as blocking the Cubs trade with the A’s for Rich Harden, citing “the best interests of baseball.” But Selig has foolishly been caught (though not yet put on trial) for his misdeeds.

This man MUST be stopped!

About JT

Christian. Husband. Dad. 911 dispatcher. Baseball fan. Horror nut. Music nerd. Bookworm. Time Magazine's 2006 Person of the Year.

Posted on July 9, 2008, in baseball and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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